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[personal profile] blackpsychi
So it's been about a year since my last post with some actual substance behind it, and that was a good intentioned start at a series called "The Segeth Chronicles" which fizzled right away when I couldn't make Smallville make sense from one episode to another. I eventually quit Smallville (after Lexmas) with only one brief visit back for Mortal (the one where both Lana & Jonathan died :)). Since then, I've managed to stay off that wagon, using fanfic to try to break the addiction, when lo-and-behold I started up again last night with a repeat of Vessel.

It's crack! That's all there is to it. The people who write, direct and produce this show are all on crack, and somehow it seeps through the cable, into the television, and into the air of those who happen to flip on the channel, inducing a "Smallville" crackphoria.

Smallville Crackphoria: A condition of a person watching, talking about, writing about, etc. Smallville wherein she/he similtaneously:

1. Balks at how badly the storyline makes no sense.
2. Laughs their ass off at Lana wanting to talk about her last & latest relationships when the world is literally crumbling around her feet.
3. Sympathizes with how tortured and bored the actors look.
4. Wants to lick Lex.
5. Want to spank Clark.
6. Wonders who the hell the character pretending to be Lois Lane really is, what she's doing and why she's still there?
7. Goes back and forth between the "Jor-El is Zod, has been all along and has been playing Clark from all angles to get free" and the "the writers are just on crack" theories.
8. Tries vainly to figure out how a character or characters did/knew something or what exactly happened to cause mass amnesia/histeria in the Smallville/Metropolis general population.
9. Laughs again at how the writers backed themselves into a corner, but then remembers that continuity and sense are not friends of Smallville. Thus next week in the premiere, Smallville will go smack through the walls of the Continuity Corner, vault over the Obstacles of Logic and fly over the Cliffs of Characterisation until it is right back where it started from to begin with.

and most dangerously of them all...

10. Thinks to him/herself, "I could write a better story than this", "There's so much potential" and "There's got to be a way to make this show make sense somehow".

OMG - I don't know how long the addiction will last, but I think I might have tumbled right off the wagon. I'll try not to let what actually goes on in the show matter, afterall it doesn't matter much to the writers/producers/directors of the actual show.

My mother actually walked into the room mid-episode and without looking at the TV said "OMG you're watching Smallville again aren't you? I could tell by the guilty look on your face", at which point I tried to induct her into the Smallville cult. It didn't work. The only time I've ever got her to watch Smallville was when I told her that Lex was going to rip off Clark's shirt and that Spike was on the show now.

Here's 20 out of 35 Icons to enjoying the Smallville Crackphoria...

Icon Post Teaser...





Smallville - 20 Icons *Credit to [livejournal.com profile] acampbell for screenshots for pics 1-17
01. 02. 03. 04. 05.
06. 07. 08. 09. 10.
11. 12. 13. 14. 15.
16. 17. 18. 19. 20.

Big Fish - 1 Icon, Neverending Story - 4 Icons
21. 22. 23. 24. 25.

Harry Potter - 7 Icons
26. 27. 28. 29. 30.
31. 32.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - 3 Icons
33. 34. 35.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-09-23 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bop-radar.livejournal.com
Heee. I MUST have that Season 6 icon! *snags*
It is indeed TOTAL CRACK. *nods*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-09-23 09:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackpsychi.livejournal.com
Loves your flirty eyes!Lex icon.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-09-23 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] huzzlewhat.livejournal.com
These are really lovely. I stole 17, because it's ridiculous that I don't have a Clark icon. Will credit, of course.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-09-23 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackpsychi.livejournal.com
Thank you for the compliment. I'm glad you like them.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-09-23 04:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blueswan9.livejournal.com
Oh these are so nice. I snagged 2, 15 and 17 and will credit when used. Thanks for sharing your work.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-09-23 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackpsychi.livejournal.com
Thanks. Happy to share!

You are soooo right...almost

Date: 2006-09-23 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twistyguru.livejournal.com
Agree, but...it's not only crack, it's crack + xanax + black tar heroin, all rolled into one! Evil! What are these people thinking?
The icons are plus plus goodness, more please.
Scarily, only yesterday I was ranting about SV canons, AUs and stuff: (http://twistyguru.livejournal.com/#item2173). Is is something in the ether?

Re: You are soooo right...almost

Date: 2006-09-23 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackpsychi.livejournal.com
It's so evil, it's EVOL! Yet pretty. You're combination of drugs would explain the nasty side effects it can have. LOL.

Re: You are soooo right...almost

Date: 2006-09-24 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twistyguru.livejournal.com
uh huh...a sympathomimetic (stimulant), benzodiazepine (GABAergic agent) and an opiate...WOO HOO! About the only other things you could add would be ketamine and nicotene, but why bother? Just like Smallville. *grins*

sv love

Date: 2006-10-04 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laceymcbain.livejournal.com
10. Thinks to him/herself, "I could write a better story than this", "There's so much potential" and "There's got to be a way to make this show make sense somehow".

*grin* Absolutely. I find myself being awfully forgiving because it seems unreasonable to pick on such a show - it's really just crack, and my expectations are such that if they make me laugh, I'm happy.

Also, I adore your S6 icon - snagging #20. Thanks!

Re: sv love

Date: 2006-10-05 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackpsychi.livejournal.com
And I've got enough RL stress to want to get too worked up over a TV show. It's much better if you laugh at it instead.

Thanks for the icon love :).

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-20 07:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lazaefair.livejournal.com
Stumbled here through your Jack/Nathan fic, but I felt compelled to comment...you have described the exact thought process I go through every time I land on a random episode of Smallville. My main thought every time Clark comes on screen and says something inane? "Krypton must orbit a very dim star."

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-21 09:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackpsychi.livejournal.com
*nods head* Yep, there's a very Darwinish reason they're no longer around.

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